Archive for year: 2020

Okay, okay, I know I need to take my mask off. Unfortunately I think I glued it on with super glue. You see I didn’t want it to fall off so anyone could see who I really was. I have to hide the real me you know because you wouldn’t like her. What, you think you would? Well I don’t know about that. She’s very different you know. What, you like different people because they are unique and special? Oh, I never really thought about it like that.

I never thought the real me could be special. I put this mask on a long time ago when it seemed impossible for anyone to like or love the real me. I was always doing something wrong and getting yelled at. The mask fell off a few times and I really got hurt by rejection so I just covered the pain back up with the mask. Now I have it super glued so it won’t fall off anymore for me to get hurt. Although I have to admit I still feel pain sometimes, but I just add a little more glue so it can’t escape and then go on trying to be who others want me to be.

What, that’s the hard way to live? Well I thought it was easier. What, it isn’t healthy? And you don’t grow that way? Well let me tell you I’ve grown plenty that way. Oh. You meant on the inside and not the outside. What, it takes growth on the inside to really enjoy life? Do I want that? Well, sure, doesn’t everyone? What, I have to take the mask off and feel the pain in order to grow? Now, that might be too much to ask.

Oh, in order to move forward and stop living in the past, I have to walk through the pain and let myself feel it and then I will be able to feel the good things without even trying. Now that just sounds like a bunch of nonsense. What, you know it’s true because you had to do it too? And now you have to share these ideas and help others to keep the good feelings and besides you enjoy doing it? Well, I guess I could try it, but it will really hurt to peel all this super glue off. What, just trying it won’t work? I have to really want it and be willing to go to any lengths to get it and that means getting rid of all the super glue no matter how much it hurts? Now that’s really asking a lot.

Oh, I will have loving friends to help me who have also removed their masks and some of them were cemented on. Okay, I guess if they can remove cement then I should be able to remove the super glue that holds my mask in place and let you see the real me. But, I’m so afraid! What, I won’t be alone? Okay, okay, where’s the bottle of glue remover so I can trudge this road of Happy Destiny and start feeling instead of just existing.

Because you couldn’t do it alone either and you need me as much as I need you, which makes me feel really good. We’ve only removed a little glue and even though that hurt I guess I can see what you mean about good feelings and sharing and growing on the inside. Thanks, again.

P. D.